What We Learned: Honest Aging with Dr. Rosanne Leipzig, 07.28.26
- Emily Trask
- Jul 30
- 5 min read
Aging is not something to reverse. It’s something to understand, adapt to—and live fully.
What does it really mean to age well?
That was the question at the heart of Gray Panthers NYC’s July 2026 Transformation Tuesday conversation with Dr. Rosanne Leipzig, geriatrician, educator, and author of Honest Aging: An Insider’s Guide to the Second Half of Life. In conversation with Gray Panthers board member Ron Roel, Dr. Leipzig offered a refreshingly direct perspective on aging: no promises to turn back the clock, no pretending that change isn’t happening, and no assumption that getting older means becoming less engaged with life.
Instead, she encouraged us to approach aging with knowledge, adaptability, curiosity—and honesty.
Aging is change. And it starts long before 65.
One of the most important ideas from the conversation was also one of the simplest: aging is change, and we change throughout our entire lives.
Dr. Leipzig pointed out that nobody in their 30s is exactly the same person they were at 10. Aging doesn't suddenly begin at 65. Our bodies, abilities, priorities, relationships, and circumstances are continually evolving.
The goal, she suggested, isn't to fight every change or try to recreate who we were at 20. It's to understand what is normal, recognize what may require medical attention, and learn to adapt to our “new normal."
That shift in perspective can make a profound difference. When we know what to expect, we can prepare rather than panic. We can adapt rather than feel defeated.
And perhaps most importantly, we can stop treating every change that comes with age as a failure.
What matters most should guide our care.
Dr. Leipzig also introduced one of the most powerful frameworks in age-friendly medicine: the 4Ms—with a fifth “M,” Multi-complexity, helping clinicians understand the full picture.
1. Matters Most
The starting point is not a lab result, a diagnosis, or even what someone else thinks is best.
What matters most to you?
Medical care should support the things that make a person's life meaningful—not simply focus on numbers on a chart. If a treatment improves a number but prevents someone from doing what they most want to do, is it really achieving the right goal?
2. Mentation
This encompasses cognition, mood, depression, and the ability to continue doing the things that matter to us.
3. Mobility
Being able to move through the world matters enormously. Mobility doesn't have to mean walking unaided. A cane, walker, or other support can be part of maintaining independence. The goal is being able to get where you want to go.
4. Medications
Medications can be incredibly helpful—but more isn't always better. Dr. Leipzig emphasized the importance of regularly asking whether medications are still necessary, appropriate, and beneficial.
This is particularly important because many medications are studied primarily in younger, healthier populations. As people age and take multiple medications, the potential for side effects and interactions can increase.
5. Multi-complexity
For healthcare providers, this means recognizing that older adults rarely experience just one health issue at a time.
Multiple chronic conditions, financial circumstances, transportation, caregiving support, housing, and other social factors all affect whether a person can actually follow a medical recommendation.
In other words, person-centered care has to account for the whole person.
Exercise may be one of aging's closest things to a “magic bullet.”
When Ron asked Dr. Leipzig about the importance of exercise, her answer was emphatic: you're never too old to start.
Exercise can help reduce falls, preserve cognition, improve sleep and mood, support appetite, and prevent frailty. And it doesn't have to mean running marathons or joining an intense gym program.
Sometimes the place to begin is simply walking around the block.
The important lesson is that something is better than nothing—and it's never too late to begin.
You can make new friends. At any age.
Another myth Dr. Leipzig challenged is the idea that our capacity for new relationships somehow expires.
She shared a wonderful story about her aunt Julie, who once responded to a woman who said she was too old to make new friends with a simple question: What are you talking about?
Making new friends, Dr. Leipzig noted, can add enormous meaning to life—and those friendships don't have to be with people our own age.
Intergenerational relationships can be especially valuable. Dr. Leipzig spoke warmly about the influence of her grandmother, or “Bubby,” who remained a lifelong role model.
That idea fits deeply with the Gray Panthers' own history and philosophy: age and youth in action.
We have much to learn from one another across generations.
Community is part of health.
The conversation also touched on one of the most pressing realities of modern aging: many people are approaching later life without traditional family structures or a built-in caregiving network.
Dr. Leipzig encouraged people to build their communities before they need them.
Friends, neighbors, faith communities, nieces and nephews, colleagues, volunteer organizations, and intergenerational groups can all become part of what she described as our “families of choice.”
For people aging alone, this isn't simply about having someone to call when there is a crisis. It's about creating meaningful connections early enough that those relationships can grow into genuine systems of support.
Community isn't an extra. It is part of how we age well.
Aging and disability cannot remain separate conversations.
One audience member raised an important question about people who have lived with disabilities throughout their lives and are now aging.
Dr. Leipzig noted that people with lifelong disabilities are living longer, and that the aging and disability movements have an opportunity—and a responsibility—to join forces.
Too often, health systems and social services are organized into separate categories: aging
over here, disability over there.
But people don't live in silos.
As Dr. Leipzig emphasized, the intersection of aging and disability requires more accessible environments, better healthcare knowledge, and more choices for people whose experiences don't fit neatly into one category.
Perhaps the most honest thing we can do is stop trying to “age in reverse.”
The title Honest Aging itself is a challenge to the culture around us.
Dr. Leipzig observed that many books and messages about aging are really about not aging—looking younger, acting younger, or somehow reversing the process.
But what if we stopped treating aging as something to apologize for?
What if we learned what to expect, prepared for change, made adaptations when necessary, stayed physically and socially engaged, and continued to pursue the things that make life meaningful?
The goal isn't to pretend that aging is effortless. It isn't.
The goal is to approach it honestly.
To recognize the losses without overlooking the possibilities.
To adapt without surrendering.
To ask for help without giving up autonomy.
And to keep making room for new friends, new experiences, new ideas, and new purpose.
As one participant reflected during the conversation, there can be a heaviness that comes with watching things become harder and watching people we love disappear from our lives. Dr. Leipzig's response was simple and powerful:
“Attitude is everything.”
Perhaps that doesn't mean positive thinking can solve everything. It means that how we meet the changes of aging still matters.
And that's the heart of honest aging: not aging backwards, but moving forward with our eyes open.
What We’re Taking With Us
Aging is change—not failure.
Know what is normal, and know when to seek help.
Ask, “What matters most to me?” and let that guide healthcare decisions.
Movement is medicine, and it's never too late to begin.
Keep building relationships—including across generations.
Create your community before you need it.
Recognize the intersection between aging and disability.
Don't try to age in reverse. Learn to adapt creatively to the life you have now.
Keep making room for possibility.
That may be the most honest approach to aging of all.
