What We Learned: Partners in Caregiving—Families, CNAs, and the Power of Working Together

Transformation Tuesday | July 2025 Hosted by Gray Panthers NYC

Caregiving touches every life. Whether we’ve been caregivers, are caregivers, will be caregivers, or will one day need one, the experience binds us all.

At this month’s Transformation Tuesday, Gray Panthers NYC brought together three remarkable advocates to explore what true partnership in caregiving looks like—and why it matters.

Moderated by Carrie Leljedal, GPNYC Vice President and family advocate, the conversation featured Janine Ferrari, longtime Family Council leader and former Family Council Liaison with the Long Term Care Community Coalition, and Lori Porter, co-founder and CEO of the National Association of Health Care Assistants (NAHCA). Together, they offered hard-won lessons from both sides of the caregiving relationship—family and frontline.

“Us vs. Them” Doesn’t Work

Carrie Leljedal opened the session with her own story of learning to work with caregivers rather than against them. Her son, who lives in a residential care home, has relied on dedicated direct-care staff for years.

“At first it felt like us versus them,” Carrie shared. “But the moment I shifted to we, everything changed. The walls came down. Communication got better. And my son’s care improved.”

Her message was simple but profound: families and professional caregivers are partners, not opponents. “No one should be afraid of a family member walking into the room,” she said. “We’re all part of the same team.”

Small Gestures, Big Impact

For Janine Ferrari, partnership starts with respect—and with learning names.

“Learn the names of the CNAs and nurses caring for your loved one,” she said. “It humanizes them and shows that you see them.”

Janine shared heartfelt examples from her father’s VA nursing home, from small acts like gifting air fresheners for staff bathrooms (“If you can’t breathe fresh air, you can’t care for others”) to leading her facility’s Family Council, a group that has successfully advocated for better hospice options, improved nutrition, and more meaningful activities.

Her advice to other families: show up, speak up, and stick together. “We fight for everyone’s loved one—not just our own,” she said.

Family Councils: From Nice-to-Have to Must-Have

Lori Porter, a former CNA and nursing home administrator turned national advocate, didn’t mince words:

“If we want to make life better for elders, families have to be involved.”

She called Family Councils “the secret sauce” for accountability in long-term care—and a way for families to gain power and understanding in a system that too often leaves them in the dark.

Porter, who founded NAHCA 30 years ago, also shared the personal story that shaped her life’s work: a moment of reckoning early in her CNA career when a resident’s honesty taught her “the power of caregiving.” That lesson—about dignity, humility, and connection—still fuels her mission to elevate and educate caregivers nationwide.

“Families have to learn this business,” she said. “Once we work together, the whole system gets better.”

Shared Advocacy, Shared Future

From care homes to Capitol Hill, the discussion turned toward reform. Panelists urged participants to contact their legislators, push for fair pay for family caregivers, and demand higher staffing standards.

“We can’t stay silent,” Janine said. “This is our future. No one is getting younger.”

Porter echoed that call, announcing that NAHCA is developing free training courses for family caregivers—teaching essential skills like safe transfers and basic care techniques.

“Wouldn’t it be great if someone taught you how to do it right before you dropped your loved one?” she asked, half-joking but entirely serious.

Building a Culture of Care and Respect

The conversation ended where it began—with gratitude and unity.

“We need to treat everyone in the building with the same respect,” Carrie reminded the audience. “The person who does the laundry is as important as the nurse who gives insulin.”

And as Michelle Arnot, GPNYC President, noted in closing, these conversations are the movement:

“Our Transformation Tuesday series began during the pandemic as a way to honor lives lost in nursing homes. Today, it continues to build community and momentum—because change starts with talking, listening, and acting together.”

🎥 Watch the full conversation: Partners in Caregiving: Families, CNAs, and the Power of Working Together